10/31/2003 09:30:48 AM|||Beth Dargis|||As my kids get older, I am finding I can come up with more excuses for not having one on one time with my kids. They don't "need" me as much, right? This week was a tough one with my 11 year old son. He has always had a tendency to forget things and get distracted. Well, now that he is in middle school there are a lot more things to remember. He got a detention on Monday for forgetting to bring his homework for 3 days in one week. I spent Mon and Tues berating him, asking him the"Why don't you..." questions, saying, "Didn't I tell you...", arguing with him, and so on. It wasn't helping and he got another detention for forgetting his gym stuff 3 times in a row.
Finally I decided I was tired of being an enemy and our relationship was deteriorating rapidly. I thought of what we were doing if I was his coach. We got pro-active, working together as a team and asking what we could do to prevent these things from happening. We came up with a homework checklist of all the little things he had to remember like write down homework in log book, check over answers, put homework in binder, etc. After he is completely done with each part of his homework all the way to being in binder, he puts a checkmark there. Before he'd wander off in the middle of homework, forgetting he wasn't done with it.
But, the most important thing that we did was to spend some time together. He stayed on track with his homework so we had some extra time to work on a 3-D puzzle. We laughed and talked. I didn't show him how to do anything better or criticize, we just hung out together.
The next morning he woke up saying he felt so happy, but he didn't know why. All day he acted like an angel. In the afternoon, after he had completed his homework in a timely manner, I took him and his sister on a fall scavenger hunt. After his little sister went to bed, we talked for a little bit. Just chatting.
He woke up with eyes shining this morning, of course that could just be because it is Halloween :), but I can see a change in him already. |||106761064889697867|||10/24/2003 10:10:02 AM|||Beth Dargis|||I read that terrific book Authentic Happiness a couple months back. Well he also has a web site:Authentic Happiness - Using the New Positive Psychology. The 24 strengths, questionnaires, test and more are here.|||106700460231081264|||10/23/2003 09:39:05 PM|||Beth Dargis|||Aging stiffens things, increasing vulnerability to breakage. Boughs that bend to the wind stick around longer. Approaches that are too structured or formal take inappropriate energy to maintain and sooner or later must give way to greater forces. -David Allen, talking about change and how we need both change and order.|||106695954563068573|||10/20/2003 04:48:32 PM|||Beth Dargis|||Letting Nature Nurture
is the 52 tips for the day.
|||106668291250614447|||10/17/2003 04:36:37 PM|||Beth Dargis|||"Your job is not to make everybody around you happy all the time. Your job is to serve your mission in life, and do what you were put here to do." Suzanne Falter-Barns in her book Living Your Joy.
One of the main reasons I went into coaching, was because I see so many people with great potential just existing and spending most of their lives doing something because someone else wanted them to. So many people are missing the opportunity to get into the driver's seat of their lives. To figure out what they are supposed to be doing and actually doing it. |||106642299712831502|||10/16/2003 08:49:41 PM|||Beth Dargis|||In the magazine article Maximum Joy in Prevention Magazine, Andrea Malin writes that according to research life circumstances only accounts for 10% of happiness. Half depends on our genetic set point and 40% of our happiness in infuenced by what we do deliberately to make ourselves happy. |||106635178191085022|||10/15/2003 01:17:01 PM|||Beth Dargis|||Suzanne Falter-Barns has a new book out. I already got it and it is great. But, I am bummed because today only if you buy it you get all these neat bonuses.
|||106623822139637090|||10/15/2003 01:07:47 PM|||Beth Dargis|||Learn to toot your own horn better using this BRAG! - Take-12 Questionnaire.|||106623766773065510|||10/15/2003 09:34:47 AM|||Beth Dargis|||Download the free software Property Matters to create your household inventory. You can scan in pix and receipts and the software gives you helpful prompts. Are you prepared?|||106622488726832601|||10/15/2003 09:32:17 AM|||Beth Dargis|||Chronic Busyness: No Time to Think is a great article outlining the problem plus gives us some solutions.|||106622473749018764|||10/10/2003 03:59:21 PM|||Beth Dargis|||"Cleaning creates an empty space where something new--life--can happen, leaving a free area for a fresh approach." -Kathryn Robyn, in Spiritual Housecleaning
Cleaning is an area of my life that is difficult. So many time I think "What's the use, it's just going to get messed up again." I am always having to motivate myself to clean, it's not a natural inclination for me. I having been reading this book on Spiritual Housecleaning. Some of the book is a little too new agey for me, but I am seeing housecleaning with new eyes. Cleaning is not just about my home, it is about preparing space for something new to come into my life. A home is not for show, but to create a sense of belonging and authenticity.
She also suggests that how each of the rooms in our house shows a part of us. The kitchen symbolizes nurturing. The bedroom is for renewal. The living room shows how you maintain contact with the culture at large. The bathroom symbolizes how you take care of your body. And so on. I love the idea of giving more meaning to my cleaning. |||106581596103272920|||10/06/2003 09:52:10 PM|||Beth Dargis|||"The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, Just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat." ~~Napolean Hill |||106549153040014766|||10/03/2003 04:33:44 PM|||Beth Dargis|||I am so happy- Joy to the Planet is back!|||106521322452640564|||10/03/2003 01:50:07 PM|||Beth Dargis|||"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big
difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over
time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."
- Marian Wright Edelman |||106520340725928824|||10/03/2003 01:44:44 PM|||Beth Dargis|||I read a wonderful article from a newsletter sent out by Confidence World. It talks about how you are feeling at any given moment has to do with three things:
1. What you are focusing on- what questions are you asking yourself, are you seeing things positively or negatively?
2. How is your physiology- are your shoulders slumped or held high, are you breathing well, are you smiling?
3. What language you are using- are you incensed or annoyed, depressed or a bit down, exhuberant or happy?
Each of these things are in your control, so you are able to change how you are feeling in a moment!|||106520308463910322|||
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